a conscious addict

2009-06-24T00:01:00.002+08:00

FUCK THE WORLD

FUCK YOU ALL

FUCK CELEBRITIES

FUCK MODELS

FUCK EVERY ASSHOLE WHO CREATED SELF ESTEEM ISSUES

FUCK PARTNERS WHO MAKE YOU INSECURE

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU ALL.

I don't need your approval.

2009-06-15T06:03:00.001+08:00

fucking awesome song :D

2009-06-15T02:33:00.001+08:00

OHMYFUCKINGGOD.
Hilarious.

There's so many things that I want to quote that i'd practically be quoting the entire clip.
Go watch. :D

2009-06-14T17:03:00.002+08:00

Guess this is it.
Thanks for the memories
For all we shared.
Sorry for the promises
That we both couldn't keep.
You're so fucking tired
And I can't keep crying.
But we had our good times.
You taught me so much
So thanks for the memories.

2009-06-13T03:35:00.002+08:00

Street Fest tomorrow. ^^

I really want to catch the first band performing - bf let me listen to one of their tracks and they sound good!

The first performance is at 12pm though and it's 3:30am now. I'll have to be up by 9am and that's mad early for a girl who can sleep and sleep and never wake up. It's been weeks since I last slept less than 10-12hrs a night. And the sad thing is I am actually serious.

Ether'real's performing at around 5:30pm.

Been ages since I last heard them. Around Superband time or shortly after I should think.

I really want to dress up but the weather's been horrible recently.

And it's all cool and rainy tonight which makes me think that tomorrow is just going to be even more humid and sunny and generally shitty.

Urgh. Why couldn't it be global cooling??

Alrighty. I'll be finishing my juice and my cookie and then bed.

Or maybe not as apparently, according to my horoscope description, as a Cancer I have a tendency to over-eat and shall therefore be fighting the battle of the bulge throughout my life.

En garde, cookie!

I'll agree to eat you, if you agree to stay away from what wobbly bits I already have, yes?

Deal [:

2009-06-11T02:41:00.002+08:00

I am so fucking angry right now I am shivering.

Fucking never again.

2009-06-10T15:10:00.002+08:00

Woke up this afternoon feeling happy.

Went down to the fridge to refill water and now even happier!

Mummy restocked apple juice, cranberry and pomegranate juice and even bought green tea!

Waaaahh!

Whenever mummy's around the house always has more food.

Peanut butter and jam sandwich and juice.

A yummy start to the day.

I also found my missing pills!

And I feel all pumped and excited to work on the new design for work later.

I love drawing. (:

The lappy updater keeps bobbing up and down at me telling me I need to install the updates and restart my com and it's getting annoying.

I feel like swatting it. :D

2009-06-02T13:57:00.003+08:00

SIMS 3 TODAY AT ILUMA!

I am such a geek.

And I love it!!

Baby please update your RAM so i can play at your place too!

2009-05-25T03:08:00.002+08:00

I try to make it through my life

In my way

You try to break me

Bit by bit

But that's just part of it

I try to make you see my side

I Always try to stay in line

But your eyes see right through

That's all they do

I'm getting tired of this shit

I got no room when it's like this

2009-05-25T02:11:00.003+08:00

You said I’m always saying sorry for the same old things

You said I say it so much it doesn’t mean anything

You keep calling and complaining that I just don’t care

Would you say that if I was there?

I can’t fix this from a phone I’m sorry you feel so alone

It’s like I told you, “You’re better off without me, I’m sick of saying sorry.”

2009-05-23T01:38:00.003+08:00

A ton of stuffs has happened since I last posted.

Ups downs then more ups and downs.

Heeehhh.

But this week mostly ups . [[:

Picture spam post probably will be up sometime tmr if I don't get too lazy.

But for now... Some last minute house-works need to be done!!

So for the time being..

2009-05-06T02:05:00.002+08:00

Quick update:

My room is still in progress :DD
Bf was super super sweet and bought me a tiramisu cake while we were exploring iluma.
Consquently, Iluma kind of sucks.
And I hate couples who parade ard carrying cute soft toys from those catch/claw machine thingies.
I finally bought most of my nail supplies - yay!
I have fallen in love with Juciy Couture's new fragrance.
And Versace's Bright Crystal scent.
But Miss Cherie by Dior and I are still having a long standing love affair. From behind the counter.
Longest yet actually LOL.
And bf and I are going ice skating tomorrow.
Hopefully!
Plans have been made since before school ended.
BUT. everytime was a no go.
*cries.

Ups and downs recently.
We'll get through this (:

Tired tired.
So nightynight!

2009-05-02T16:14:00.002+08:00

Been cleaning my room the whole day.

And clearing out a hell of a lot of stuff...

I've only managed to finish my study table.

It's falling apart. Sighs.

The drawer fell through and crushed my finger.

But it used a hammer and it should stay in place for awhile!

I hate the green-y grey colour

I feel like spraying it pink :D

Headache headache.

I need to start drinking more water.

Pictures when I'm done!

2009-05-01T22:15:00.002+08:00

It's been a whole day.

Sometimes I wish people were perfect.

No mistakes, no excuses.

Every time these kind of things happen.

I don't know how to feel.

Lost, confused, sad, angry.

Then sometimes, nothing anymore.

Everybody makes mistakes.

Anyone can go back on their word.

If it doesn't matter

Does that mean you don't matter anymore?

2009-05-01T15:27:00.008+08:00

Okie! Can finally post pictures up! Bf suggested to switch to safari to see if the page would load properly and voila! Temporary fix to my problem. Yay!

Overdue post!

First of all!

Got my period just before assessment.

Worst time to be feeling gross and icky

about myself... BUT thankfully

MoxieisLOVE(:

Tiny tampons... I love tampons :D

Much nicer than diaper-pads - no matter how thin they

promise to be!!

And look! Such pretty packaging.

Candy vintage pin-up inspired:

I finally got a chance to try the infamous Botak Jones that bf is always talking about and...

FUCK IS IT YUMMY! Like mouth wateringly delicious. It was HUMONGOUS so bf and I shared and every tiny morsel was scrummilicious. Good god was it yummy. :DD

THENNNN... Bf and I's trip to Tampines 1.

It was freaking mad crowded... I got a bit of a headache just from being squashed with so many people. It got to a point when it actually started to feel a little gross.

Also the wrong day to choose to wear slippers... I got my feet stepped on so many times ]]:

Anyway... Marche inspired Japanese buffet

place... Can't rmb the name but damn

it was good!

Expensive, but well worth it :DD

Before and after hehe :DD

Bf had shrimpy stuff...

After that, small shopping spree at some cute stationery shop :D

And i finally got my laptop bag!!

Lovelovelove♥

Some papers for my scrapbook, peach caramel

corn, pink and blue 0.4 pilot G2 pens, a pink bottle

of sparkling sake AND MY NEW LAPTOP BAG!!

Close up and more accurate colour (:

It's so pretty that i feel sad to drink it!

More Japanese snacks!!

Yes, I'm gonna get so fat! ]]:

And the most delicious macaroons from when Febaby and I went to town. Yummy yummy yummy!! She had a raspberry one and i a caramel one. Jesus christ were they nice! I wish macaroons weren't so ridiculously expensive though. It's so depressing to spend $2+ one something that can disappear in one bite..

Helped Poch to model for part of his self-proposed project:

My fringe just looks plain stupid but it was fun!

Last pic of me camwhoring.

:D my side fringe is now gone.

Chopped.

Off.

I'm now a straight fringe girl!!

Hehe. I'll upload pics when I have some..

LOL.

And I'm done!(: That felt like a horribly long post.

Now I'm going back to watch CSI: NY and contemplate cleaning up my room...

I need to throw out a hell of a lot of junk.

But i'm feeling lazy :DD

BYEBYE(:

2009-05-01T15:09:00.002+08:00

Did my own acrylic nails for the first time!

Excited excited!

A nice spot in my not so nice evening. Sighs.

Anyway.. Piccys!

Tiring but fun!

They're not perfect but it wasn't

bad for a first try (:

More yummy goodies from Yamakawa...

Tried out honey butter caramel corn this

time instead of the peach flavour :D

And the packaging for meltykiss is so pretty!!

It's all shiny and shimmery and this gorgeous

pearlescent pink cardboard ♥

Yummy Pokky with twin dip :D

Hehe.. but not as nice as the Meiji mix berry one...

(sorry for the blurry pic!)

2009-05-01T10:16:00.001+08:00

I keep having nightmares recently.
What's happening?

2009-05-01T04:42:00.000+08:00

my stomach keeps making funny noises.
I think it's hungry.

And i can't sleep.

2009-04-26T00:46:00.001+08:00

I wanted to post a lot of photos with comments that are a tad overdue and from my escapade at the new Tampines 1 with baby today...
But the internet's being a bitch.
So photos will have to wait for a bit :D

Pet society was damn troublesome to load.
I really am hooked
:DD

2009-04-25T00:09:00.002+08:00

Assessment is over
(Yes, a bit overdue i know!)
Please please let me pass..!!

Been recently addicted to Sims2 and Pet Society hehe.
Probably a bad idea as my eyes have been getting all gunky and red due to new contacts which I think i'll have to stop using and change. Sighs.

Now now I want to go shopping shopping SHOPPING!
And ice-skating!
And swimming!
And to the zoo! (doubtful as it's been obscenely hot recently)
And go visit the new Tampines 1!
And countless other things that i'm too lazy to type out!!

Haha but... Job job is needed for all that.
So the job hunt shall commence soon!

But not before an overdue amount of sleeping in :D
NITEYNITEY[:

ps: Baby, thank you for everything today ♥

2009-04-17T17:31:00.002+08:00

Someone once told me, don't wait for someone to make you happy.
Find your own happiness.

Lipstick Jungle - Season 2 - Episode 10 - 0:36.
A beautiful moment.

2009-04-15T03:36:00.001+08:00

Oh God. My wrist is hurting like fuck.
And my assessment is in 5 days.

The Apocalypse is Coming.
Wish me luck!

(And good luck, baby, for your assessment tmr...
No resubmission for you this year - I'm sure of it!)
♥

2009-04-12T11:42:00.000+08:00

South Park's new episode featuring Kanye West is hilarious.
Seriously, go watch :D

2009-04-12T11:17:00.003+08:00

The past two days have been a bit crazy.
Met up with beebs to go out like planned.
Ate yummy takopachi, observed comical babies that reminded us of when we were little.

Hero bought me the most adorable pink cupcake!!

Thank you thank you thank you beebs, it was deliciously yummy!

And a picture of it half-eaten!

Really thank you baby, it was super sweet (:

Kino-ed after (No ageha or egg for me though...)
But then major drama.
All my fault though.
Even though it's been two years... Sometimes I still feel really homesick.
I miss my old friends a lot.
But everything that happened that was really unfair to beebs.
Sigh... Sorry baby.
Reached home itching out of my skin with awkwardness, anger and a lot of weird emotions.
So went for a midnight run.
Ran until my legs cramped really badly.
Then I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

Met up again ytd night...
Things went ok then during dinner got into another major fight at the coffee shop.
Shouting and walking away ensued.
Sigh.
Then on the way home... We talked things out.
Many things were explained and solved.
But beebs missed his last train.
Both our faults... So i helped to split some of his fare.
Lucky I've been cooped up at home working and not going out much so I had some spare money.
But the night ended on a good note. (:

Please baby, sleep more.
Don't be so tired.

Transferred my work documentation from my phone and found a few pics!

Candy coloured candy shop at the
airport (: Mm mm mm!

A cat that Fara and I saw otw back to school
after orderin our wood. Super cute! Like a mini tiger
is what baby said :D

Ever since my parents came back, my dad has been constantly buying me food
or offering to make me food, or just plain making it for me even if I didn't ask...
It's super sweet and makes me smile - even if my tummy is really full!

The other day he bought me these for breakfast!
They were so pretty - I didn't want
to eat them!

And then he steamed me a super delicious-y rou pau...
(which was like the size of my whole palm and
half of my fingers!)

And then ytd he bought the sticky soft coconutty tapioca...
So so so good!! I didn't manage to take a
picture before it got devoured >.<

And now I'm going to relax a bit, before I start going over my
notes for my upcoming CCS test :P
BYEBYE(:

2009-04-10T16:22:00.001+08:00

Meet! Meet! Meet!
I'm going to meet my baby later,
at 7pm!

Woohoo!
Out of the house!
And see my baby!

AND TAKOPACHI I'M SO GONNA DROWN YOU IN MAYO AND EAT YOU!!
Like finally!!

:D

2009-04-10T15:31:00.007+08:00

Death Race is a good show to have playing while you're doing work!
Filled with enough action to make you energetic for a long period of time
And watched and re-watched over and over again until it's not distracting anymore!

And Natalie Martinez is so so hot!
Gawd her husky voice...
Sexy!

Earlier on I was thinking about how it feels like it's been ages since I last left the house.
I was thinking about Cine, then I suddenly remembered this adorable Korean doll that I saw!
I want I want I want!

She is so so adorable!

I love her pink pink hair!
Kawaii-ne!

I went to go check out their website and they have tons
of other just as cute dolls!

The pink-haired...

One white-haired! Reminds me so
much of strawberry shortcake!

The blondes...

The brunettes!

And the black-haired!

Sweet, right?
Hopefully by the time I save up enough money to buy my pink dolly,
it won't be sold out already.
Haiiiii....

Please let me find a job over the holidays!
There are so many so many things I want!!

2009-04-10T08:30:00.007+08:00

HOIIIII!!

Didn't get what I wanted done ytd.
Ytd was a bad day for me. Felt weird the whole day and my mood was constantly up and down.
Rollercoaster day.
I couldn't concentrate and felt like I was itching out of my skin - so restless!
Sighs.

Today have to make up for the not-done work from ytd...
But first! A quick post!

I was surfing around online ytd and I found this! Cute Hello Kitty
bouquets of flowers! Super sweet, no?

I also saw this amazing bicycle that was completely
covered with Swarovski crystals in the display of
a shop in Japan!
The patience that person must have!!

I've been waiting to put crystals and decorate my E71
for awhile now, but have been pushing it to after my
assessments. Sigh sigh.
Shall make myself happy with cute pictures of
decorated phones instead!

Sigh. I really love my pink P906i Docomo NTT flip phone
and I want to decorate it so badly! (part of the reason I bought it!)
but it won't work without a hypersim. Haiii..
Nevermind! Shall prevail and search during my holidays
for it!

Pretty in pink.

Two really gorgeous designs! I want to do my phone something
like that! Pearl, gold and pink with acrylic flowers
and ribbons!

So many pictures! .... (-_-")
These are the last two!
Adorable new style of decorating phones...
Sweets!

2009-04-09T07:00:00.002+08:00

Picked up mummy and daddy at the airport.
My brother got the time wrong.
We got there an hour early.

I'm going to have eyebags the size of china.

And the side of my stomach has this weird sharp pain.

2009-04-08T23:12:00.003+08:00

Typography:
ONE HALF of one half done!

Mummy and daddy are coming home at exactly 5am tomorrow!
Shall stay awake to fetch them.
Wouldn't be able to get up if I went to sleep!

I am craving pink fairy cupcakes desperately.

And and and!
My beloved bacon and cheese takopachi...
Extra fish flakes extra mayo!
Uwaaahh!

PS: Thank you baby for being so patient and sweet these past few days
And! For copying Gyarusa for me! So made my day! ♥

BUT BUT BUT!
Now I'm like 'I want! I want! I want!'
It sucks when you don't have money
And there's so many things you want to get!

2009-04-04T05:05:00.002+08:00

I wanna tear my heart open
And scream into the night.

i love you so much
that it fucking hurts so badly
that sometimes
I don't know how to be with you anymore.

2009-04-04T05:03:00.002+08:00

I'll leave my heart with you
Until after assessment.

It's been yours alone
after all
since the day I first realised
I loved you.

Do with it
what you will.

2009-04-04T05:02:00.000+08:00

I'll cry a river.
And watch
Empty and alone
As if flows down the drain.

2009-04-03T13:54:00.001+08:00

Found out I have an impromptu lecture instead of tutorial today.
Skipped it.
My work is still in progress.
SLOW.

I feel like a turtle.
With no self discipline.
]:

2009-04-03T02:28:00.003+08:00

I hate that we're back to fighting again.
Stupid small stuffs.

Is it me?
Is it you?

My favourite time of the day is when I'm asleep.
Stress.
Worries.
Insecurities.
Deep thoughts.
Bad emotions.
Everything just drifts away when I'm asleep.
My dreamless sleep.
Whenever I start to think too much,
about something I don't want to think too much about
I just roll over and fall asleep.
Or when I cry until I can't cry anymore,
I roll over and fall asleep.

Hehe. Miss Sleepy.
I'm just like pig.

Goodnights.

2009-04-03T02:05:00.001+08:00

Left one outline.
Pushing it to tmr morning though.
My eyes are killing me.
Left eye's gone all red where i stabbed it by accident.
-_-"

2009-04-02T21:06:00.003+08:00

Ohman. Been so long since I last blogged.
Haha lucky I don't have twitter.
It'd be long long dead already. :D

Ytd = AMAZING day ♥
Money came in and could finally buy some of the things on my mental list in my head that was starting to make me a little crazy.
Got my gorgeous lashies. So long and feathery. Pretty pretty pretty with my mascara!
Tried out lower lashies too!!
And and I got this spf + tinted moisturiser + pore and oil control liquid foundation thingy from Taiwan.
Lovesloves!!
AND I got this super pretty looking nail polish remover.
I just used it and it smells all flowery and gorgeous - I hate the plasticky acetone smell that nail polish removers usually smell like.

THEN THEN THEN!!
Haha at like 12+ (i think) Febaby called me and asked where I was.
I said "Just out of shower".
Then there was a pause.
"Are you wearing your clothes?"
LOL.
She and Shermaine were outside my door!!
Happy April Fools!
I got candy and BUBBLES and a pink shimmery heart shaped card with glass crystals in a pretty pattern.
SO PRETTY! Thank you Febaby and Shermaine :DD

YAYS!. Haha. Funny funny night.

Today was a bad day.
I need to stop being so me.
But that's confusing cause I love me.
]:

Let tomorrow be better.

workworkWORK tonight. outlines and base please.
Assessment is on the 20th.
18 days.
I'm so fucked.

2009-03-15T00:25:00.002+08:00

Pictures from my first time at KTV with baby :DD
Haha, took me long enough to haul my ass over there!
My own Mr. Hamster-Cheeks.
:3

2009-03-14T02:22:00.001+08:00

Best fucking day ever.
Thank you, baby.
♥

2009-03-11T10:47:00.001+08:00

Work totally sucks.
Redoing typography from the beginning.
No more time left.

Meeting boyfriend a little later.
We need to talk.

Something's got to change.

2009-02-27T22:09:00.000+08:00

I fucking hate fairytales.
And I'm in a pissy mood.

2009-02-27T11:32:00.002+08:00

On our 11th month anniversary...
It didn't end up a great day,
But I'm still in love with you.
♥

2009-02-27T11:06:00.003+08:00

[late -but important- post!]

Happy Hearts Day ♥

Baby looked so cute!
Thank you for not being mad that I was late (:
And and and!!
iLOVEDtheflowers ♥

Perfect on the first try.
Only my baby.
(:

2009-02-27T10:26:00.002+08:00

For once I know what I need to do.
And it's a GOOD FEELING. ((:

Thank you baby,
We'll make it yet. ♥

These past few days have been lovely.
If only I can keep it up.
Cause it's SO WORTH IT (:

2009-02-18T11:12:00.000+08:00

OHMYGOD I FINALLY GOT MY TATTOO!!
:DD

2009-02-16T02:08:00.001+08:00

I don't want my life anymore.
Anybody wanna swap?

2009-02-12T11:48:00.002+08:00

There are some things that i just wish I could go back and do over.
There are some things i wish i could just take back.
Even when you don't think about it, talk about it or even mention about it,
there are just some hurts that never go away.

For everything,
I'm sorry

Who's that girl?

2009-02-11T05:21:00.000+08:00

If your heart doesn't fall my way please know that I wanted you to stay.

2009-02-11T05:14:00.003+08:00

Exhausted.
Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.

Why is it that even when you love someone
You end up hurting them?
Even when you try and try
And try.

I hate it that two people
can be so in love
and at the same time
so unhappy together.

Or maybe,
Just maybe,
It's me.

This won’t hurt more than a pinch.
So just pour a drink,
Let’s talk it over.

2009-02-09T01:12:00.001+08:00

OH! OH! OH!

And i forgot to mention...
I've got a surprise!

I'm excited excited excited!
*Fluffs around.

2009-02-09T01:03:00.002+08:00

Forgot to mention, had a hilarious conversation with my mum and brother over dinner about what it'd be like if Singapore started snowing due to all that global warming malarky.

Our conclusion:
EVERYBODY WOULD DIE!

Then we had a debate over how we'd try to keep warm.
Ended with my wardrobe in flames }}}:
Along with my neighbours' plants.
And the neighbours.

:DD

2009-02-09T00:56:00.002+08:00

12:54am abandon ship!
glue shortage has sunk my plans for tonight.
Looks like an early night for me then :D

Busy weeks coming up.
Guggghhhhhhh.
After which i shall be known as The Dribbling Retard In The Corner.

Dribble dribble.
Dribble.

Dribble.

*wipes away dribble.

How long has it been since i last went 2 days without seeing my bubi?
I miss my bubi.

But I doubt I'll be able to see him before the 14th.
Sighs.
}:

2009-02-08T16:39:00.000+08:00

Just because someone does not love you the way you want, it does not mean they do not love you with all they have.

2009-02-08T09:13:00.003+08:00

I hate found objects.
And recycling.
And curly fishing lines that refuse to go where I want.
And fucking umbrellas that refuse to stay upright.

Tired.
Tired.
YAWWNNNS.

Hehe. Super hardworking girl ytd.
Work work work ALL DAY.
Even managed to stave off sleep till 3am.
Amidst much cursing and hissy fits though.
LOL.

*pouts.

Overslept my alarm though.
-_-"

Short hair?
Long hair?
I want a visit to the hairdressers }:

Products of a useless mind at 3am. :D

Have to wake my bubi in half an hour.♥
Miss my bubi. }:

2009-02-03T12:32:00.002+08:00

Critique is coming up.
Zombie zombie zombie soon lol.
8 days to pull my act together.
:D

Got some purty clothes yesterday.
Mmm (:

Getting jabbed today.
Some shot for help immunizing against breast cancer.
Apparently 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer.
More than 8 girls in my class.
Does that mean one of us will develop breast cancer?
Also apparently if you started your period earlier the higher the risk of developing cancer.
For some reason. No idea why.

Anyway, just rambling cause I'm secretly scared of anything involving

needles.
Haha. Just a little phobia.
Tiny.
Miniscule.

Almost non-existent
phobia.

:D

I'm so hungry. ]:

2009-01-14T09:03:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was amazing. ♥

But I fell asleep sitting up in my bed, sketching.
Slept till 9am.
Now my neck and back is aching like fuck.
Guhhhhh.

Meds. Shower. School. Printmaking. Research. Sketching.

Please let this be a productive day.
:D

She's impossible and there's nothing there to love.

2009-01-12T23:58:00.001+08:00

A new year.
A new skin.

If only it was as easy,
to change mine.

2008-12-31T11:29:00.003+08:00

NEW YEAR TONIGHT!!!
Woohoo!

I wanna:
wear all sexy
va va voom with my OUTRAGEOUS SHU UMERA FEATHER EYELASHES (thank you baby! ♥)
shop shop shop
party maybe baby :D
DRINK!
and make out with my baby.

Hehe :D

2008-12-30T18:08:00.003+08:00

I think I'm falling sick.
My head's all achey.
My throats sore and a bit swollen-y.
And I feel hot hot hot.
Or cold cold cold.
And I feel so damn tired.
Sighs.

Please don't let me be sick on New Year.

My daddy's operation was all fine.
He's good as new :D
ILHIM. ♥

2008-12-30T01:02:00.000+08:00

PS: The gingerbread man is finally ate.
I could no longer resist him.

2008-12-30T00:56:00.003+08:00

My daddy's going for his eye cataract operation tomorrow.
Therefore tomorrow, the hospital is going to be my campsite for the day.

I want to clear out my wardrobe.
Sort all my beloved clothes out.
Attempt to throw some out.
End up keeping most of them.
LOL.

PS: I GOT A NEW PHONE! haha.
My Nokia N73 = completely totally useless with a popped battery.
My NEW Nokia E71 = pretty pretty pretty with two separate 'modes'.
:D
Pretty pretty pretty. That cost me a pretty penny too.

Annnd... Australia is good. But the war scene was like totally useless.
A happily ever after in their massive farm-place wasn't good enough??

I feel a bit spastic.
Have to get up in 3 hours.
And I feel all icky inside.
And incoherent.
So.

Fullstop.

2008-12-30T00:51:00.001+08:00

How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win your losing fight
All the time.

Not gonna ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride.
No, not this time.
Not this time.

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
If you're a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own.
(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")
On my own.
(My thoughts you can't decode)

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well, yeah.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.

Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.

Yeah.Yeah.

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
I think I know.
I think I know.

There is something I see in you.
It might kill me.
I want it to be true.

2008-12-25T01:36:00.004+08:00

I'm just a face on a lover with a fire in my heart.

Another tired face on a lover with an addicted heart.
And this Christmas has torn it apart.
Won't you tell me, is it healthy, baby?

1am Christmas morning and you've already cried twice.
You never really knew how much it could hurt.
That somebody can just walk away.
When they know that you're hurting.
On a Christmas morning.

I'm all alone
The only voice is my own
Did you know that I
hurt this bad?

You hope.
But you don't want to.
Because it's when you hope that you know disappointment.
But yet, you still hope.
Because you can't help it.

There's no such thing
as Santa.
There's no such thing
as a little Christmas magic.

There's no such thing
as a special 9 month.

Who's that stranger in the mirror?
With her blotchy skin.
Her chapped lips.
Puffy eye bags.
Dried salty trails over slapped cheeks.
And empty eyes.

Who's that stranger in the mirror?

Memories here to stay

Deep cuts the knife

2008-12-24T00:51:00.005+08:00

I need to be up in about 3 hours to go sit at some bus stop in probably soggy weather to go wait at an arse-freezing airport to pick up my daddy. And mummy says if i can't wake up she's just going to leave me behind so this is going to be a short post.

1) I HATE BLOODY LAST-MINUTE-FRENZIED-LET'S-SHOP-FOR-PRESENTS-THAT-WE-LEFT-TILL-LAST-MINUTE-CROWDS. Such as the one I encountered at Orchard today. It's a fucking nightmare when you can't even lean forward/bend down to look at an object without bumping into another person's body part. And the queue is goddamn ridiculous.

2) WHY THE HELL ARE THERE NO DECENT STOCKINGS TO BE FOUND IN SINGAPORE?? I'm not even going to elaborate. I'm still frigging pissed about this.

3) Xmas shopping with your boyfriend/girlfriend may not exactly be as fun or enjoyable as it's built up to be. For either party.

4) It helps though when you have an amazing boyfriend who gets you the cutest Hello Kitty key chain from the dikam machine :D and shares his cheese fries with you when you realised you've spent too much and want to skip dinner. ♥

5) Being lectured after a long day when you've just reached home and managed a wobbly "hi" really sucks.

6) I'm sleepy, my legs ache and I've forgotten what else it is I wanted to say and my eyelids are itchy and peeling again so I'm just going to say goodnight.

PS: I just remembered what it is I wanted to say.
7) Buying the sweetest little santa hat for charity from a smiley guy who has so many mini santa hats on his head that he looks like a santa version of darth maul would make anybody smile. Even if the measly santa hat cost the last 5 bucks I had in my wallet.

PPS: And there was something else I wanted to say but it is still forgotten. So I shall leave it as that. Nitey nitey.

2008-12-23T01:46:00.004+08:00

toffee nut latte = yum
toffee nut latte + lots of cinnamon powder = definitely yum
toffee nut latte + lots of cinnamon powder + nutmeg = ORGASMIC ♥

SAW THE PRETTIEST DOG IN ALL THE WORLD TODAY.
Buy me buy me buy me! Buy me doggy! xD
iwanttheprettyyorkshireterrier }:
sigh.

Had my very first carrot cake today courtesy of The Coffee Bean with baby :]. Woo hoo! Damn nice - all walnutty and carroty with cream cheese. Which in turn reminded me of the massive bagels from Starbucks that you have to pay a crappy dollar or something for the cream cheese. ]:
Starbucks is obviously not a friend to the broke.
Hehe.

Met up with my darling Yaya ♥. She is love.
Finally decided to buy Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Wahaha.
Was juggling between Why Men Love Bitches because it had such a cute cover design. Ahhh the attraction of art.
Also bought Love Letters of Great Men. It has the prettiest cover! And the paper it's printed on is all musky and textured and old-feeling. Gurghgurghgurggghhh. I'm going geeky over books.

More present wrapping tmr. And last minute chiong-ing for candles, tinsel, stockings (HELLO KITTY STOCKING PLEASE :D) and a few stocking-presents. Sleepy sleepy.
Time to call my baby. x

PS: Mummy bought me the cutest gingerbread man the other day.
Cutest thing i've ever seen. I love gingerbread.
Can you comprehend the torture of desperately dying to eat it.
But cannot bear to eat it.
So I stare.
And stare.
And stare.
LOL.

2008-12-19T23:55:00.002+08:00

I just broke my favourite cup.
Two cups on the table: one damned fugly flower cup and my precious 'V' cup.
And which one did i have to break?

Well done Vivi, you ninny.
Well done.

2008-12-11T12:56:00.002+08:00

Today marks the end of my holiday here in Oman. It feels so wierd, like my time here was so short - there's still so many things that I wish i could have had the time to enjoy that i shall just have to wait until my next visit to experience. When i left Oman, I never once thought I'd feel the kind of nostalgia and appreciation for the country that i grew up in that i felt on this trip back [:

The only down-side was how much I missed my baby over these 11 days - the first time we've been away from each other for more than 2 days! Hehe, but i think this trip has taught both of us a lot of things and has given me a lot of things to think about.

We were rushing around like mad hares yesterday getting last minute things and trying to cram suitcases and today will be another rushed affair as popa and i need to head back to the souk to get a necklace for mum that she really liked the other day along with taking some stuffy family picture of us before we all leave as popa will only be joining us in singapore quite a bit later ]]]:

Therefore.... I need to go get ready now and pack the last bits of my luggage! :D
I'll be back in singapore by tomorrow morning!
(Have 5 hours to kill in duty free in dubai later baby, so don't worry i won't forget to look for your cologne! :D)

Love you, curly. :P x

2008-12-04T14:28:00.000+08:00

For you baby,
I'm love-struck... [;

2008-12-04T14:22:00.001+08:00

*written yesterday night

Let us create our fantasy world
Where your arms
My hands
Our lips
Are all that matter.
Where lying on your
chest
Your breath is mine
Your closed eyes ours
The steady rise and fall my
lullaby

Can we have a fantasy world
Where I can share
And you can listen
No more waiting
And silent phone lines.
Where lying on your chest
Money has no
value
Expectations have no
weight
You can chase your
dreams
And I can actually dream one.

Give us our fantasy world
your trust
my honesty
our unfailing faith
Are all that matter
Where we can have
skies so purple
time for all the world
And alarm clocks
silent

Where we can never wake up.

I kept my nails
For you [:

2008-12-03T03:43:00.002+08:00

For you, baby:

DAY 1:

Said bye-bye to my baby and my aunts and boarded the plane with a splitting headache. Sigh sigh. The weird airport smell and cold cold a.c totally did my head in. Turns out that me and peanut were given separate seats on the plane; him somewhere in the middle cabin and me somewhere in the last cabin. ]]: what luck. I got stuck next to a woman who stared at me almost the whole journey with this man behind me who kept tapping on my shoulder and saying “excuse me, excuse me” whenever I leaned back to go to sleep. Despite the fact that he had his seat pushed fully back, Asshole. In the end I just ignored him and attempted sleep. :D

Reached Dubai with the back of my knees all numb and heavy. Queued to get pea on the same flight as me back to Muscat on Oman Air - finally managed it, but again not together. Sigh. This time I was in front and him somewhere in the middle. We were delayed almost an hour plus cause of some passengers who were late boarding and lots of fierce arabic was going on between the irritated late passengers and the flight steward who was trying to be diplomatic. Reminded me of Russell Peters and his comments about the scary arabic haha.

Touched down in Muscat and for the first time ever didn’t need to join the hour long queue for passport check cause I had to get a visa and therefore got to join the non-existent ‘visit visa’ line! :D First time ever! Woots! I also kena a very nice guy who quickly helped me solve the problem of my once-again non-existent passport no. :DDD Grabbed the luggage and home-d.

HOME! Hehe. Omg the new house is GORGEOUS! Tdjhudjk!! Hehe. Marble everywhere, huge windows an overkill of toilets, large rooms and really pretty heavy dark wooden doors with gold handles. Gawwwddd. :D

Had a late night chat with mum and spent the rest of the night unpacking till almost 4am. Then... zzzz!

DAY 2:

Food food food! Woke up to a really sweet email and pictures from my baby - totally made my day [[[: - and just in time for take away Papa John’s... Had yummy yummy pizza with bbq chicken wings and cheese breadsticks with this amazing garlic sauce! Gahhh! Then visiting the new city centre near home I got to try out some of the best ice-cream ever! Totally blew Ben and Jerry’s and Haagen Daaz and any Japanese-brand ice cream right out of the water. Good God.
I tried out the flavours sweet cream, cheesecake, cotton candy, cinnamon and coffee. I finally chose sweet cream and cinnamon.. Delicious delicious! They had the most unique way of mixing the ice cream together... They used these flat scoops and put the two scoops one on top of the other, then used the scoops to chop up the ice cream and mix them together. ohmygod,, orgasmic. [[:
Then mum cooked beef tenderloin with onions for dinner :DD after which we shared some sweet buttery ice cream with pecan nuts. I thought my stomach was going to explode. Sighhhh.

The only downside was the internet connection here which kept crapping up and was utterly frustrating. Bought two books at Borders and some small presents though which helped make up for it :D Can’t wait to show baby the ‘Love” keychain I bought for myself.

DAY 3:

Worst day yet. No internet for almost the whole day and some paranoid issue kept spinning round my mind all afternoon. Sigh. Then due to some miscommunications with baby we ended on a really unhappy note. ]]:
More food today again. The leftover cheese breadsticks for breakfast with Mum while watching Without a Trace (yes, we have cable!). Then lunch was soup pasta and apple pastry pie baked by mumee for tea and then out for dinner to D’Arcy’s where I had the nicest beef steak fillet with mash and boiled vegetables along with Greek Island salad and cream of broccoli soup and banana and honey milkshake. I am going to be fat by the time I go back to singapore. :DD

But I have to say, it feels great! My stomach feels like it’s about to drop straight out of my body. Hehe. I feel so sleepy after each meal... Pig pig pig pig PIG! oink oink!

Mee promised to teach me how to bake the apple pastry pie tomorrow... Don’t worry though I shall hit the gym in the aftrenoon since I can’t swim in the morning due to my new hair ]]: Don’t want it to fade too fast and the chlorine wouldn’t help much :D

Some pictures...

Smile smile, please?
143 [:...

2008-12-02T23:11:00.001+08:00

I wanted to write something nice for you baby.
Then something came up in my mind.
Then i couldn’t stop thinking about it.

And now i don’t want to write anything anymore.

2008-11-28T23:48:00.001+08:00

Not think about it would probably help.

2008-11-28T23:14:00.007+08:00

It's 11:14 and although it's not late at all, I feel an odd mix of sleepy and not sleepy. Tired but not tired - both inside and out. It's funny, it's been two years plus since I came back and my life is still as fucked up as it was before. Funny how some things never change.

I just bleached my hair this yummy grey-blond-with-pink-streaks that reminds me a little of a lollipop, and though I hated it at first, it's kind of grown on me. Still a little pissy that the extensions are a slightly different colour though. Gfjhpf. The roots were getting all dark and iffy-looking so I decided to hang on till after assessment to either do a touch-up or re-dye. Obviously the re-dye won :D

I've also been putting off my swallow and tree-in-a-box tattoo. Thinking of getting the swallows tomorrow but it would be a little bit of a rush affair. And that's even if the artist can agree and get down to it at the first meeting cause tomorrow's going to be a bit of a dash to get the last bits and bobs sorted before I fly off on sunday. Gonna miss my baby. My baby with his newly dyed hair. Gorgeously scrummy.

Back to business though. I still need to pack up all my rubbish and I'd honestly like to clean the house before the rents get back here for Christmas. Not to mention all the shit i'd like to do with my room in my free time. And the closet.

Different template. Different hair. Different room. Different habits.

I seem to constantly need change.

I think that's why I like shopping so much. :D

note: sorry if this post is a little random and incoherent; there's a lot of unresolved weirdness swirling around in my head. Yes, around all the fluff are actual thoughts lol. I'm tired. I'm a bit lost. And tbh I'm not really sure what to do anymore.